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Tombstone Etiquette
by
ChrisTina Leimer
While
we're certainly not one for creating rules, even those
of us with the best intentions sometimes act in ways
that unintentionally cause damage to others or their
property. Many cemeteries are privately owned yet we
generally have open access to them, and for free. So,
let's try to keep it that way by following a few
guidelines suggested by funeral directors and cemetery
caretakers. Likely, much of this etiquette will be
obvious. If so, then we can just use it as a reminder
that, in visiting cemeteries, we are guests, of both the
living and the dead.
Disturbing
Others
Most of the people visiting cemeteries are people in
mourning or people who are visiting their long deceased
loved ones. Please allow them their solitude and
privacy. Don't photograph them. Don't initiate
conversation, but of course be friendly if they address
you. Many of the cemeteries we visit may still be
active. If you see a funeral, leave the area, and don't
photograph.
Moving
Things
Objects in cemeteries were placed there by caretakers or
by survivors of the deceased. Even if you think the
arrangement would be more aesthetically pleasing some
other way, or that objects couldn't have been placed
there on purpose, or that weathering has caused an
unintended configuration, leave things where you find
them. Don't temporarily rearrange items for a
photograph, moving markers and mementos can damage them.
Take pleasure in photographing things the way you find
them.
Repairing
Those of us who love cemeteries want them preserved and
protected but it is not our responsibility to make
unauthorized repairs. In fact, some adhesives can
actually cause damage. Instead, report damage to the
cemetery caretaker, church or government office in
charge of the cemetery. If a diligent search turns up no
one who is responsible, perhaps you have a civic project
in the making.
Rubbings
They may be gorgeous and fun but doing them can damage
old stones. If you want to get rubbings, first get
permission from the caretaker or official in charge of
the cemetery.
Taking
Things
The desire for souvenirs can be tempting but removing
anything from a cemetery that we did not place there is
not only theft, it denies others the opportunity to
experience what you enjoyed.
Littering
Take away any trash you bring or, if they are available,
deposit your trash in the appropriate trash containers.
Leaving cemeteries the way you found them is a sign of
respect. If the cemetery is trashed or vandalized,
again, try to find out who is responsible for its upkeep
before jumping in and cleaning house.
Cemetery
Rules
Please follow cemeteries' specified open hours. Usually
they're posted. Sometimes there are other posted
restrictions such as no dogs or bikes. Obey all posted
cemetery rules.
©
Copyright 1996 ChrisTina Leimer
The Tombstone Traveler's Guide
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